One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
