garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
