yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
