He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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