I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
