i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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