new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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