I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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