i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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