I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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