3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
