Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
