Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
