took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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