Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
