I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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