My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
