I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
