"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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