I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize