used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
