May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
