i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
