This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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