So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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