i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
