I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
