I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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