So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
