He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
