Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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