So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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