i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
