We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
