Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
