a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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