i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
