Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
