This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
