I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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