I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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