i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have fence marks all over my body
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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