you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
