Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
