She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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