Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
