last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
