would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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