Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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