I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cannot find my penis.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
