Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
