Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
