Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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