So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
