absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
