The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
